15 Signs You Are Forcing Yourself to Love Someone (2023)

15 Signs You Are Forcing Yourself to Love Someone (1)

Do you want to know if you are forcing yourself to love someone? Continue reading this article to find out more.

If you have ever asked the question, “Am I forcing myself to like someone?” Then it means you have noticed some signs over time.

People go into relationships for different reasons. While some people see it as a form of security, others regard their relationship as a means to an end. Another group of people views relationships as something that complement their lives.

Meanwhile, some people go into a relationship to have someone to love and care for while hoping they reciprocate. Whichever your reasons are, being in a relationship is great. It helps us strengthen our bonds and have someone to talk to when the world seems to be against us.

The problem, however, comes when you are forcing yourself to love someone. So, what exactly does forcing a relationship mean? Or how do you know you are not being forced into a relationship?

What does forcing a relationship mean

In a typical relationship, each partner is committed to the relationship, and it’s not even hard to recognize it. For example, you may find the couples planning and creating goals together. They know what they want in the relationship and are both ready to work or achieve them.

When you are not forced into a relationship, your actions come willingly, and you will do anything to make the relationship successful. But it does not mean there won’t be disagreements. Healthy couples have disputes occasionally, but what makes them stand out is that they always try to make it work out. They look for ways to fish out the problem and settle it.

However, if you ever feel like you do the most in a relationship, it could mean you are forcing love in a relationship. For example, sex is one of the ways couples create bonds between each other. It should come naturally without coercion. If you find yourself begging to have one, it means you are in a forced relationship or forcing yourself to like someone.

Also Try: Are You In Love Or Forcing It?

Forcing a relationship means you are making someone love you against their will. Love is not by force and is best enjoyed when the two partners are on the same page. It’s normal to seek ways on how to make yourself fall in love with someone.

Similarly, you can make yourself love someone in different ways. However, you need to stop when it looks like you are forcing yourself to love someone or your partner feels like they are being forced into a relationship.

15 Signs You are Forcing Yourself to Love Someone

If you have asked, “Am I forcing myself to like someone?” If you also want to know the signs that you are forcing yourself to love someone, check out the following telltale signs.

1. You are always the first to settle a fight

Again, all healthy relationships are characterized by fights and disagreements once in a while. Conflicts only mean you are being honest with each other and know when to say no.

However, if you are always the first to settle the fight, it means you are forcing a relationship. If you can’t remember the last time your partner called you to fix a rift, you are in a forced relationship. Intentional couples know the importance of settling a dispute as soon as possible.

2. Persuasion is hard

A forced relationship involves one person working harder than usual to build a connection. Two individuals who are in a healthy relationship should be able to persuade and advise each other without fear.

Your partner should regard you as someone worthy of being listened to. But when you constantly exert much effort to sway your partner to do the least, it means you are forcing yourself to love someone.

3. You compromise a lot

15 Signs You Are Forcing Yourself to Love Someone (2)

“Am I forcing myself to like someone?” If you want an answer to this question, do a quick review of your actions. Have you been making all the compromises while your partner sits back and does nothing?

Understand that no relationship should make you uncomfortable. However, you might need to deny yourself something to make the relationship work. For example, it is vital to take some time for you and your partner to meet.

If it seems like you are the only one making all the compromises, you are forcing love into a relationship.

4. You make all the plans

As stated earlier, a typical couple plans together. The beginning of a relationship revolves around how to make it work and the actions involved. The couple makes plans for vacations, events, goals, etc.

No matter how busy you are, it is best to make plans for you and your partner to see. If you are the only one carrying this responsibility, you might be forcing love into a relationship.

5. Your partner fights over the triflest thing

A forced relationship or a relationship where you force yourself to love someone is usually full of dramas. When your partner takes delight in fighting you over little things, it may mean that you are forcing yourself to love someone.

For instance, if they fight you to meet up with an old friend around the time they are with their friend, that is a sign of a forced relationship.

6. You beg for intimacy

Love is a beautiful phenomenon that involves a strong bond between partners. This bond naturally pushes the individuals to each other and foreground intimacy – it’s simply effortless.

If you find yourself persuading your partner to be intimate with you, that is one of the signs of forcing a relationship. You are good enough and shouldn’t beg to be adored.

Related Reading: Best Tips For Growing Intimacy In Marriage

7. You buy gifts all the time

Different languages characterize love. For some, being physically available for their partner is a love language, while others value care. Some individuals express theirs through gifts.

It’s understandable if buying gifts isn’t your love language, but you should try to reciprocate with similar gestures. As little as a box of candy can make all the difference. If you realize you buy all the gifts most of the time, that’s one of the signs you are forcing yourself to love someone.

8. Your partner never apologizes

No matter how much you love your partner, there are times they will offend you, and you will do the same. That is quite normal in a relationship. Recognizing you are at fault and making amends is the key to solving this relationship.

One of the ways of resolving an issue is to apologize. However, you might never get an apology in a forced relationship. If your partner is at fault but doesn’t see the need to apologize, you might be forcing yourself to like someone.

Related Reading: The Benefits of Saying I’m Sorry in a Marriage

Check out some tips on apologizing when you hurt someone you love:
15 Signs You Are Forcing Yourself to Love Someone (3)

9. You long to be in love

One of the clear signs of being pressured in a relationship is when you still imagine being in love. You shouldn’t crave love when you are supposedly in a relationship.

Nobody is perfect, but your partner – the person you choose to be your love interest – should be enough. If otherwise, it means you are in a forced relationship or forcing yourself to like someone.

Related Reading: 5 Keys of Long Lasting Love

10. You are heartbroken all the time

If you are at a point in your relationship where you ask yourself, “Am I forcing myself to like someone?” Chances are you have had your heart broken many times. Your partner will sometimes offend you as you grow into each other.

What your partner won’t do, however, is to break your heart many times. Some of the things that might break your heart include cheating and lying. When this action repeats itself in a relationship, and you are still there, you are forcing yourself to love someone.

11. You don’t see them in your future

Some people have asked the question, “Can you make yourself love someone?” Yes, you can if they fit your definition of a lifetime partner.

You might not necessarily envision your relationship to become quite huge in the future. But as you get to know your partner, it’s only normal that you imagine a lifetime with them.

If your partner doesn’t fit into your definition of a partner in the future, you might feel like being in a forced relationship. Trying to make them into your ideal partner is one of the signs of being pressured in a relationship.

12. You don’t know what a happy relationship means

One other sign of trying to force a relationship is when you can’t define a happy relationship. You will think you know it all until someone asks you what it feels like to be in a healthy and happy relationship, and you can’t describe it.

Your relationship should be a typical example, and you should be able to draw one or two examples from it. When you can’t, it only means you are forcing yourself to love someone.

13. You wish the relationship ends

“Can you make yourself love someone?” Of course, you can. But if your effort isn’t yielding any positive result, you might be trying to force a relationship.

If you are in a happy relationship, you will never think of the ending of the relationship. And that’s why some failed relationships are more painful than others – the couple never envisioned a breakup.

On the other hand, if a part of you wishes something terrible happens so you and your partner can go your separate ways, that is one of the signs of being pressured in a relationship.

Also Try: Ending Relationship Quiz

14. The mood is tense when you are together

An intimate couple shouldn’t have problems bonding together, especially if they haven’t seen each other for ages. If the mood suddenly becomes dull when you see your partner, that might mean you are both being forced into a relationship.

15. You sometimes want to cheat

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One way to know you love your partner is when others don’t attract you, even if they are flawless.

In a forced relationship, however, you will constantly feel tempted to cheat on your partner. If you eventually do, you won’t feel remorse about it. That is a sign that you are forcing yourself to love someone.


“Am I forcing myself to love someone?’ If you have asked yourself this question above, you suspect you are forcing love in a relationship.

Everyone deserves a partner who loves and cherishes them all the time. However, a forced relationship can make you feel like you don’t deserve good things. It is primarily characterized by unreciprocated love and actions.

If you have observed the signs above in your relationship, it means you are forcing someone to love you. What you need to do is to stop forcing yourself to like someone. It’s OK if you want to learn how to make yourself fall in love with someone, but don’t force a relationship if your partner doesn’t like it.


15 Signs You Are Forcing Yourself to Love Someone? ›

"It's possible to consciously and intentionally love someone or decide to love someone—an important distinction to make however is whether you're forcing yourself to be in a romantic partnership with someone because you think you should, versus intentionally choosing to love someone because you know it's in your ...

Is it possible to force yourself to love someone? ›

"It's possible to consciously and intentionally love someone or decide to love someone—an important distinction to make however is whether you're forcing yourself to be in a romantic partnership with someone because you think you should, versus intentionally choosing to love someone because you know it's in your ...

Why does it feel like I'm forcing myself to like someone? ›

If we force ourselves to like someone we aren't necessarily attracted to, it can tell us a lot more about ourselves than it does about them. Often, according to the experts Metro.co.uk spoke to, it is linked to low self-worth.

What is forced relationship? ›

Forced-Relationship is an intuitive idea-finding technique that goes back to the British author Charles S. Whiting. Similar to the Force-Fit game, Forced-Relationship works with so-called stimulus words and stimulates the imagination with unusual combinations of terms.

How do I know if I'm forcing a relationship? ›

Do you both care more about the relationship than about being right? Or do you struggle with communication, hold onto resentment, and feel like every fight could be the end of the relationship? If your closeness doesn't bounce back after arguments, you might be forcing the connection.

How do I know if I'm with the right person? ›

Ask yourself: Do they get along with the other people in my life? Do I get along with their friends and family? Do we have mutual interests and things that we enjoy doing together that can be a source of sustainability in a relationship? If the answer is yes, then you may be on the right track."

Do I like him or am I just lonely? ›

When you are truly like someone, you really look forward to any connection you may have. You constantly check your phone for texts, calls, emails, etc. Just thinking about your next conversation makes you smile ear to ear. If you are dating them just to kill time you might be too lazy to reply to their messages.

What is an example of forcing someone? ›

[often passive] to make someone do something that they do not want to do synonym compel force somebody into doing something The President was forced into resigning. force somebody/yourself to do something The President was forced to resign. I was forced to take a taxi because the last bus had left.

When to leave a relationship? ›

If you're constantly fighting and seem unable to resolve conflict, that could be a sign of when to leave a relationship. While you can learn how to avoid arguments, you may not be able to fix deeper problems that a lack of communication indicates.

Is he into me or just using me? ›

Whenever you both meet, if it always ends with sex, it might be a sign that he is using you. If he is making time only to sleep with you, he might be interested in physical intimacy rather than a committed relationship. If you both meet and he just wants to jump your bones and then leave, he is using you for sex.

How does a man know he is loved? ›

A man who's falling in love tends to show his desire for greater closeness and intimacy in many different ways. He will likely prioritize spending time with you and put in real effort to make you happy. He may show you his softer side, while also serving as a source of strength and comfort when you need it most.

How do you know if you're in love or just want attention? ›

Signs you just like the attention

If you're only talking to them for attention, Wood says you might notice the following red flags: You feel anxious without their time or attention. You're emotionally unavailable, and you keep your guard up. You don't know much about them beyond the surface (and you don't care to).

How do you know if you're getting tired of your relationship? ›

A person experiencing relationship burnout may begin to feel disengaged or disconnected from their partner. Mutual activities they used to enjoy together will become boring, aggravating, or stressful. One may also start thinking about their partner less often to further distance themselves.

Is my timing wrong or am I that hard to love? ›

"If you feel like your goals are incompatible or would create a lot of barriers to being together, this can be a sign that it's the wrong time," he says. "When two people are heading in a similar direction in life, there may still be barriers, but perhaps there isn't as much of an obstruction."

What is red flag in relationship? ›

What are red flags in a relationship? Red flags are warning signs that indicate unhealthy or manipulative behavior. They are not always recognizable at first — which is part of what makes them so dangerous. However, they tend to grow bigger and become more problematic over time.

Do I love him or am I settling? ›

Do you prefer spending time with family, friends, or people other than your partner but still won't give up on your relationship? If you feel this way, you could be settling. On the other hand, if you don't have a sense of happiness and feel nothing when you are around him, it is a sign you are settling.

What does deep loneliness look like? ›

It's characterized by constant and unrelenting feelings of being alone, separated or divided from others, and an inability to connect on a deeper level. It can also be accompanied by deeply rooted feelings of self-doubt, low self-esteem, or social anxiety.

Am I in love or not? ›

When you start thinking about someone else's desires and needs as much as your own, it's a pretty good sign that you are in love, Shaffer says. "You may not necessarily want the same things but when you are in love, you start thinking of the other person's perspective just as much as your own."

What does true loneliness feel like? ›

You might feel unable to like yourself or to be liked by others, or you may lack self-confidence. Thinking about what is making you feel lonely may help you find a way of feeling better.

What makes a man commit and fall in love? ›

Physical attraction, sexual compatibility, empathy, and emotional connection are key to making a man fall in love with a woman.

Will walking away make him commit? ›

While you may not get him to commit by walking away, it is possible. Once you walk out the door, he might find that he can show you his true feelings. Of course, it is up to you to decide what you want to do once he shows you how he feels about you.

What is forced personality? ›

If you describe someone as forceful, you approve of them because they express their opinions and wishes in a strong, emphatic, and confident way.

What is forcing behavior? ›

the tendency of a person who has behaved in a way that contradicts his or her attitude to subsequently alter the attitude to be consistent with the behavior.

What is forcing in psychology? ›

Consider every definition of forcing, as presented by all six papers that have used the technique. “…the act in which a subject reports to have made a free decision among equal possibilities while manipulated by the performer whom, then, secretly knows the outcome of the choice” (Shalom et al., 2013).

At what point do relationships usually end? ›

Studies have shown that relationships generally end within 3 to 5 months from the day they begin.

How do you know when a relationship has run its course? ›

If you're noticing yourself feeling really distant from your partner and you have fewer and fewer things in common with them, and perhaps you're just feeling disinterested or just numb or neutral towards the relationship, this is a sign that something needs to change.

What are 4 signs your relationship is failing? ›

It may be hard to accept, but when you notice some signs like abuse, lack of trust, lack of communication, and disrespect, it may be some signs that your relationship is failing, and time to call it off. Even when you try your best to put the relationship together, the damage may be too severe.

What makes a man serious about you? ›

A man who is very serious about you will be transparent and honest about every aspect of his life. Be it his everyday activity or things about his past – he will prefer to keep everything out in the open instead of making you wonder about his actions. He will also be clear about his feelings for you.

What's a man's secret obsession? ›

What Is the Secret Obsession Every Man Has Inside Him? According to James Bauer's book “His Secret Obsession,” a man has a deep secret urge that is more intense and powerful than hunger, and thirst. James refers to this strong biological desire as Hero Instinct. A man wants to feel irreplaceable during this drive.

How does a man act when he is deeply in love with you? ›

He will pay attention to your wants and needs and make an effort to give it to you. He listens to your requests, tries to accommodate your wishes, and does things you say will make you happy. And he does it happily because he wants to make you happy.

How do you know if a guy doesn't love you? ›

He is no longer affectionate with you, physically or verbally. He no longer makes sweet or romantic gestures toward you. He doesn't say "I love you" anymore. He still says "I love you," but something about it feels hollow or forced, like he's just going through the motions.

Can you force yourself to fall in love again? ›

But a new study has found that we can in fact control our hearts with our heads more than we thought - psychologists from the University of Missouri-St. Louis and Erasmus University Rotterdam found that it's possible to wilfully increase or decrease how much you love someone. It's called 'love regulation'.

Is it possible to force yourself to stop liking someone? ›

Stop liking your crush by ending interactions, including those on social media. Focus on other things in life that make you happy. It will help take your mind off of your crush and encourage a productive way to stop liking him or her. Talk to someone you trust about your feelings to get another perspective.

Can I love someone if I can't love myself? ›

The short answer: NO. More specifically, your capacity to love another is directly proportional to your capacity to love yourself. If you don't love yourself, you can certainly idealize someone, long for someone, or even seduce someone, but this is not the same as actually loving someone else.

Can depression make someone stop loving you? ›

But there is another dimension of depression that can lead to the idea of escape as the answer. It's the one that causes depressed partners to say they're no longer in love and have never loved their partners. It's called anhedonia, the inability to feel pleasure or interest in anything.

What does feeling in love feel like? ›

You feel intensely happy when you're in love. You can't stop thinking about them, talking about them with your friends, and your heart still goes pitter-patter when their name pops up on your phone screen. “You are excited to see them and are elated when you're around them,” Dr. Montgomery says.

Can anxiety make you stop liking someone? ›

All this worrying about our relationships can make us feel pretty alone. It can lead us to create distance between ourselves and our partner. At its worst, our anxiety can even push us to give up on love altogether.

Why am I not allowing myself to love someone? ›

Not wanting to fall in love can sometimes signify a problem with esteem, attachment, anxiety, or another issue. You might feel anxious about becoming attached to someone and potentially losing them. Or you might have low self-esteem and struggle with feeling that you are unloveable.

Why am I not letting myself fall in love? ›

Philophobia — a fear of love — can negatively affect your ability to have meaningful relationships. A painful breakup, divorce, abandonment or rejection during childhood or adulthood may make you afraid to fall in love. Psychotherapy (talk therapy) can help you overcome this specific phobic disorder.

Why I won't let myself love? ›

Of course, there can be many different reasons why we may find it difficult to receive love. It could be past trauma, unfamiliarity with receiving, feelings of unworthiness, and much more. Regardless, it is very common to feel resistance to receiving love in compliments, affection, accepting help, and more.

When you feel yourself falling for someone? ›

You know you're falling in love when your someone begins to take up major real estate in your thoughts. You might find yourself rehashing your conversations in the middle of work, thinking about your next date days in advance, or even envisioning your future together.


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